The Boss's Father

Ball Sweat recipe
3/4 oz 1800® Tequila
1/4 oz Irish cream
1/2 tsp salt

Put 1 or 1/2 teaspoon of salt into a shot glass. Pour the tequila in. Then if you have the skills, layer the irish cream on top (or mix). Shoot.

At work many people have issues with their boss. Me, on the other hand, I have issues with my boss's father. You see my boss is fairly young and he has his father work the morning to mid-afternoon shift. When I arrive at the bar, Chad's father (we will call him Larry) is there waiting for me to take over. I take off my coat and place my personal belongings on the shelf and not a minute later I am already pouring beers. It is at this point that you would think that Larry would go home, but no he doesn't. He gets himself a drink and plops his enormous pregnant belly on a bar stool and watches my every move as if I were a child using scissors for the first time.

I try my best to not let him irritate me but all attempts fail when I see the sink filled with dirty dishes that he didn't bother to do the entire day. As if his neglected chores weren't enough to aggravate me, Larry constantly makes remarks and asks the most retarded questions I've ever heard. Like when I turned 21 he goes, "So what can you do now that you're 21?" Ummm....let me see DRINK?! Isn't that what turning 21 is all about? You stupid fucking retard. He then proceeds to tell me all the things I can't do like rent a car for instance. Like I was really looking forward to that or something. On top of his mentally draining conversations where I feel myself getting dumber by the minute, he almost always has to come behind the bar. Let me remind you that the space behind the bar is very cramped leaving not much room for two people. But of course, him and his gut are always shuffling past me bumping into things while I say to myself, When are you going to drop that baby already?

Trying to be slick about it but with no success, I catch Larry sneaking peaks into my tip cup to see how much money I've made. One time, he even had the balls to comment on it saying, "Wow, you already got a ten dollar tip." I can tell he's trying to make me feel uncomfortable. I make more money in a half hour's time than he does all day and that's because I have a set of tits and a pretty face. Duh! You don't have to be a genius to figure that one out. He even watches me when I make a drink. He's making sure I don't put too much Jack in the coke so that it doesn't come out too strong. It's like he trying to catch me doing something wrong. Umm heeelllooo I have been working here for almost two years now. I think I got the gist of my job. Fuck you very much.

I wish I could take a collection of every man's ball sweat and serve it to him on the rocks. Now how's that for too strong?