I'm a Bartender NOT a Therapist

Pitbull On Crack recipe
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz rum
1 1/2 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur
1 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
1 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
1 1/2 oz half-and-half

Fill a 16 oz. glass with ice and add the alcohol. Stir and top off with cream, and serve.

WARNING! BEFORE ENTERING THE BAR, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR PROBLEMS AT HOME!

Unfortunately, this is never the case. Just about everyone who comes in to the bar is carrying a 20 pound sack of issues on their back and I'm the one who gets to hear it all. The last thing I want to do is have to come to work, serve drinks, and assess any issue you have with your wife, girlfriend, mistress, etc. Save it for the therapist couch not the bar stool.

One time I was alone in the bar with this "wacko" lady that comes in every once in a while. Being that there's no one else to run her mouth off to, she turns to me and proceeds to tell me her whole life story. "Oh yea all the cops around here know me. They are always coming to my apartment. My boyfriend gets drunk and yells at me. Well, he's not my boyfriend but, I live with him." Oh boy, the rambling has begun, I'm thinking in my head. She then goes on to tell me how he beats her and how she kicks him out but, then goes back to him. And the crazy thing about all this is, I don't even know if she's telling me the truth! Holy Crap this is not what I signed up for.

Then there's this man who comes in a few times a month and wants to talk to anyone who will listen. I always happen to end up alone with these people, why God why? One night, I was on my laptop because it was slow and he is right there next to me yapping away. He starts to tell me about his daughter who is around my age. I'm giving him the short, brief responses like oh yea? or uh huh, so that maybe he will get the point that I don't want to be bothered. But no, he continues on as if I am incredibly interested. Listen dude, I don't give a shit about your daughter. I don't know her nor do I want to. I could care less about where she went to school and what she is doing now. So please shut up and drink your beer and leave me the fuck alone!

Look people just in case in you're interested in how I feel I'd rather listen to a pitbull on crack than listen to what you have to say.