DJ O'Douls

Medusa Punch recipe
24 oz Zinfandel® white wine
8 oz peach schnapps
8 oz cranberry juice
1 splash sweet and sour mix

Fill a container (size of an iced-tea pitcher) almost halfway with ice. Fill to slightly above ice with a decent California White Zinfandel. Add one part peach schnapps, and a splash of sour mix. Fill the remaining space (should be a little less than a quarter of the pitcher) with cranberry juice. Seal and shake vigourously. Serve in glasses.

On Friday nights, we have a DJ to entertain the obnoxious people that feel the need to dance like they're in a club at a dive bar. So anyway, he comes in and sets up his shit (a laptop) right in the way of the store register blocking all of the liquor on the shelf. Constantly throughout the night, I am shoving him and every girl that goes up to him to request 90's dance music out of my way to grab a bottle of hennessy or to help the poor old man waiting to get his mega millions ticket.

On top of the not so great music stored on his playlist, he insists on blasting it at the highest volume known to man. Come on dude the last thing I want to do is have to scream to customers to figure out what they want to drink. I can probably name you in order the songs he's going to play too starting with a montage of 80's rock, then some Lil Jon, followed by a reggae block, and finally closing with a Guns n' Roses song which somewhat lifts my spirits. After all that he doesn't even bother to get on his little microphone to shout out the bartenders and to remind everyone to tip us like normal DJ's do. Isn't that part of their job?

Worst of all is that by the end of the night, he packs up at the speed of lightning while I am left to deal with the people who think that there is still music playing and refuse to leave the bar. Oh yea and before he leaves, he gets paid more than what I make in tips all night.

I'd like to serve him up some Medusa Punch, watch him turn to stone, then smash him to pieces along with his equipment.