Splitting tips with a ditzy coworker

Circus Peanut recipe
2 oz brandy
2 oz advocaat liqueur
1 tsp arak
1 splash grenadine syrup

Have you ever had to split your tips with a coworker who just doesn't know how to do their job? Not only that but you end up carrying 95% of the weight all night! It's just not fair and I've begun to think that bartender's should have their own tip bucket rather than go 50/50. My thursday night coworker, we will call her Betty, is clueless when it comes to the art of bartending despite the fact she has been working with me since March of 2009.

Every f'n 20 minutes Betty goes outside to smoke a damn cigarette and she stays out there for a good 15 minutes while I'm inside busting my ass to make sure that everyone has a drink. So because I don't smoke that means I don't get a break? Another reason why I deserve my own tip bucket. I'm starting to believe if we were in competition with each other then maybe just maybe, Betty might start to do a little more work around the bar. It gets very frustrating when I see her having an intense conversation with a customer and she neglects the poor man just a few inches away waiting patiently for a beer. BE PATIENT EVERYONE, Betty has her blinders up and no one is getting another drink until she is done having her 10 minute conversation about what color to dye her hair next.

Then comes the dancing! "Let's wear matching school girl outfits and dance on the bar next week!" she says to me while I give her the HELL NO look. I'm sorry but I refuse to dress sexy for the 60 year old perverted men that come into my bar and get annihilated to the point that they can't even walk to the bathroom. No Thanks! At the end of the night I make sure to count the tips so that Little Miss Ditz doesn't make a major miscalculation and end up screwing me out of 20 bucks.

I sometimes imagine that she is that circus peanut that gets crushed and stuck beneath my shoe so that I can sneak away with 100% of the tips.