The Bar With Only One Martini Glass

Ka-boom recipe
1 1/2 oz coconut rum
1 oz banana liqueur
1 oz grenadine syrup
4 oz pineapple juice
1/2 oz limes

Mix lime, banana liqueur, and rum in glass. Add pineapple juice and stir. Add ice to fill glass. Add grenadine last and do not stir. Garnish with slice of lime and a cherry.

"Can I get a frozen margarita with salt?" a customer asks me as I look at her in disbelief. Have you looked around lady? This bar has been here since the beginning of time and so has all of its equipment. We don't even have a blender to make those fancy shmancy tropical island drinks that your mouth waters for. It's either beer or a mixed drink that calls for no more than three ingredients otherwise your ass is going somewhere else to drink.

Oh and did I mention that we only have one martini glass? That's right so if you and your girlfriend want to order two sour apple martini's then one of you is getting it in a frosted mug. So it's up to you to decide who is going to stoop down and drink a sophisticated lady's drink in a dirty man's beer mug. And one more thing, if you want it cold you have about a 50/50 chance that the ice machine is actually working and that there are a few refreshing cubes left to spare. When the ice machine is doing its job however, there is a small bucket similar to one that a five year old child would bring to the beach to fill up. It holds approximately 50 ice cubes and with each mixed drink using about 12 of those cubes...well you do the math. On Friday nights, the baby bucket gets filled more than I can count.

"May I have a glass of wine please?". Sure you have a choice between White Zinfandel, White Zinfandel, or White Zinfandel. Yes, you read correctly we only keep one kind of wine behind the bar so I hope you are in the mood for White Zinfandel. And if you want one of those sweet citrusy lemon drop shots that require a sprinkle of sugar to finish it off, well we don't have that either. Sorry to disappoint. I suggest you stick to the traditional pint of Budweiser here and steer away from anything too crazy because the chances are we probably don't have it and we probably never will.

When I am closing up at night, I'll slide that single martini glass across the bar pretending that it's really a grenade and...Ka-boom the entire eight seat bar gets blown to smithereens!